Today went alright, i slept most of it. i had a good afternoon tho [after going to the hospital to properly discharge myself and reclaim my stuff + teddy bear] i walked around dorchester for a bit and met up with two of my frends (:, we had fun sitting in burrough gardens and walking around somerfeild. :D
A couple of hours on.....
thats it, ive had enough of life, it just isnt worth living, ive cried and cried and i just cnt get this pain out! i feel like physically ripping it out with my own bare hands,, or suffocating it with dangerous gasses,, or killing it with tablet overload. i just cant deal with this, i dont feel attached to my body, my head and hands will not stay in sync with each other. my hands are acting before i am thinking, i just wish i was NORMAL!! how much effort can it take, to be able to sleep, to not have to worry about showing off my scars ir cuts to everyone, to not worry about being fat but try and do something about it. i i dont think life is worth living anymre, i just wish i could die, without commiting sucide, does that make sense? God, u can tell wen i need a spliff.................
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