sorry...

i noticed today that everyone was asking me how i was, i think it was because i must have scared them last night. im sorry if i hurt anyone, i promise im alright now, im still in hospiatl, i am until thursday. I had 13 stitches in my left thigh and 3 stitches in my wrist. i found this poem and thought it expressed how i was feeling so i put it on its own blog because i thought it deserved it.

Btw G, yeah i will get it for you when you give me the money, k? i have rizzles bt nt a light or the tabbaco xx

I’m Great, fine, spectacular. In a way
I relish every night, and I live every day.
I live, I laugh, I write, I sing,
I wonder what the new days will bring.

Then I get home, and I take off the mask.
The day, and almost impossible task,
Is finally over, and so I lie Down,
and wait patiently for the day that I die.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
even though I have promises to keep.
I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,
And I ache and burn from my very core.

Then, I’m not alone, and the mask reappears:
Out goes the grief, pain and all of the tears,
As I am a happy person, cheerful all the day.
A world full of rainbow, not one shade of grey.

Of course I’m not okay, I’m not fine,
No matter how much I seem to shine.
I don’t even know why I feel this...
Why my existence is one long, endless abyss.

But it is, and will be, so I cling to life,
As one day I might slip, and end it with a knife.
But, I’m still here, no matter what my dreams might say
And I hope that one day I will actually be okay.